Womens Plus Sizes

You know, I thought working in a Halloween super-store would be amazing. I thought I’d get to play with kids dressed up as dinosaurs and bumble bees all day, wear masks at work and decorate the store. It’s what I’ve always seen going into a store, so it must be so. And to be truthful, it is a great job as far as part time jobs go.
But today something happened that made this particular job jump from best job I have ever had, to absolute worst.

So my day was going by pretty normally. I was wearing a crown pulled from our hat rack, halfway through my shift, ready to stuff some people into some costumes, no matter how small the costume is and how fat their thighs are.

It’s my job to ask, but nobody wanted to me to help them. This is what I usually expect, “No, just browsing” and maybe a glare. Until I walk up to her. About 25 years old, mouth full of cold sores, and a thick blond moustache.
“Anything I can help you with?” I regretted these words the second she turned to receive my assistance.

Her name was Sarah and she was half retarded.

I searched through 2 racks of “Sailor Babe” costumes before I found the only extra large we had. Sarah had specifically asked for a Sailor Moon costume, and Sailor Babe was as close as she was gonna get. Walking back to the dressing room, she sees an adult Rainbow Brite rip off costume from the more provocative line of costumes, and decides she would also like an extra large in that as well. Her tits were bigger than my head. There was no way in hell she would fit into either of these. But still, she had to at least try them on.

Ok, I thought, whatever turns your crank. I’d just hand her the costumes over the top of the cubicle and Sarah would be out of my life in 10 minutes.
But she had her shirt and bra off before she even closed the curtain. I had to turn around and say “Here you go!” as though I loved my job. I had to pretend the smell coming from her enormous breasts wasn’t there at all. It was a really hot day, and my section, the dressing rooms, happened to be under a gigantic lamp that made the area feel a good 10 degrees hotter.

I close the curtain for her before I had to see any more of her anatomy. I wasn’t prepared for her cries of “Somebody help me!”. They were soft enough as to where I could pretend that I hadn’t heard them. But my coworker had also endured the sight of Sarah’s naked upper body, and asked me to help her, because she “ain’t gonna do it”. I felt like I was walking to my execution. But what I saw(and smelled) before wasn’t even close to awful compared to what I was about to witness.

Sarah had the costume hiked around her waist, her two tits under the short, tulle lined sailor skirt. Her full bottomed panties were gray and looked like something my grandma would buy. You know those old fashioned panties, covered in lace that come from a box? Yeah.
But never mind her underwear, I was thinking that we all have laundry days and my own period week underwear isn’t anywhere near flattering.
I was going to ask what she needed when she turned around. I was seeing the largest jungle bush I had ever laid eyes on, and I’ve seen a lot of jungle bush. I was the kid who read Nat’l Geo mags just to see some nudie tribeswomen. This was the mother of all gaping entrances. The vines covering the door to some kind of fucked up secret garden of my worst nightmares.

Sarah jumped out of her dressing room to show the entire store her hilarious Sailor Moon pose, legs spread, the tulle under the skirt pushing it up, vagina for the store to see.

And I was the only one who witnessed it.

We didn’t make it past Sailor Babe’s bushy twat before her mother spotted her, balls out, and rushed over to push her back in the room. Rainbow Brite was a no go, thank fucking god, because it was a tube dress even shorter than Sailor Babe, and I don’t think I could have gone through that again. I was rescued by my manager who asked me to go on break before I even had to ask about it.

I hate halloween.